"I Can't . . . "

With 5 kids in the house, all under 11, there are 2 words I hear a lot:  "I can’t."  They are my two least favorite words.  I don’t believe them and make them figure it out.  I can understand hearing it from kids once in a while, but when I hear it from adults it drives me crazy:  "I can't afford it." "I've tried but I can't lose weight."  "I can't run."  "I can't stick to a healthy eating plan."  Kids have the excuse of never having seen certain situations and sometimes they can’t see a solution.  It is oftentimes very simple.  It is also common when they are asked to do something they don’t want to and think it will get them out of some task they do not desire to complete.  That will backfire and they learn a new skill and have more chores.

When adults use that excuse it is something entirely different.  What is really being said is, “I don’t want to," "I am unwilling to make the sacrifice to," "I've not been successful at this in the past," or “I’m afraid of failing.” What they fail to realize, is that they’ve already failed by speaking defeat.  There is little if any difference between quitting and never trying at all.  The end result is the same.  They are stuck in the exact same place as they were before. 

So how do you get out of that mindset or help someone get out of it?  With the kids I force them to figure it out and help them along when they need it.  It is harder with adults.  They already know that it can be done because they’ve seen others do it. They have in their mind that they can’t personally do it.  You see examples around you all the time of people that refused to accept failure.  You learn about it as you grow up in school.  How else would technology be where it is today?  Many things we use daily were once considered to be impossible and yet we live amongst them every day and accept them.  We weren’t born with wings yet we fly, we weren’t born with gills yet we can travel to the bottom of the sea. 

So as you look at that task in front of you that you have been avoiding for fear of not succeeding, remind yourself that you can do it.  You have to want to do it and if it’s important to you then you will figure it out.  There are people in your life that have done it, know how to do it, or will do it with you.  Use them to help you find success in these obstacles in your life.